SHUT THE FRONT FUCKING DOOR

If there ever was an antibody then a miracle is wonder
I wish people could learn to abandon the rain
I wish they’d appreciate the thunder
There is no idiosyncratic way to be yourself and still love one another
So I’ll save my last breath for when I’m under the covers
But I was taking in the skyline’s most oblique hue
As I exhaled the poisons that once made me feel new
And I loved how the monsters were always waiting outside
If my heart was ever pumping, I assure you I’d have died
Now we escape into a more cautious energy
With nothing strapping me in
And no one looking in to me

And everybody that I saw passing by with intangible desire
Couldn’t have been as dastardly as mine
Winning something for now, later losing everything to the fire
There were eyes that struck me pale
If only the saddest of ocean blue
But I couldn’t keep it real
And if only penance knew
They were always on some sort of mission
Dense sapphires of truth
Dig into my soul
Many flakes of evil
They should have never let me do

But we learn to release heaving throaty moans of angst
The regret is but a step in letting go
Everybody makes
And birds flying at such altitudes are hardly in it for the food
Maybe they continue to watch
Distance derived from a want to not intrude
And I want to not implode
When you set that many grass fires eventually they make it to the road
Probably the same journey that runs into our house
I could look a gift horse in the mouth but could never harm a mouse
In all practicality lies can still persist
Altering reality, insurance for the fist
Right into the wall
Symbolical of the times ahead, if we ever had a clock at all
I have too few words left to utter “not my fault at all”
Because we fell right through the gutter that was cracking like the jaw
It seems sometimes the little stutter means I shouldn’t speak to yall
I have liquidated everything
Curtains have been drawn

Does it ever pain a pastor to think about shipwrecks?
Consider the fold and what could have been protected
Reconsider growing old with these memories collected
With my eyes darting quicker than the thoughts locked in my mind
You could always see the emptiness in me
Even when I came home blind
Some days I could pray for the button on my life that says rewind
It only hurt my throat to say I’m sorry when I had to swallow pride
It can be a flinching mistake to ignore beauty where we come together
Stamp the envelope
Push it and perhaps one day it’ll all seem clear
I didn’t read your letter……..I wasn’t even here

~THOMAS